Gurls, in order of likeness
1) Whitney. Tall and dumb. Makes funny eye-faces.
2) Audrina. Brunette. But huge teeth/ears that could take over her entire face if allowed. Being used by JB(b3)
3) LC. Hooking with brody is low, considering he has glove.
4) LO. Eyes too close together. Seems dumb.
5) Hidey. Conniving, and plastic surgery, nuff said.
6) Jennbunny. Plastic surgery, and rat-ty.
Boys
1) Brody. Tall and rich. Doesn’t talk smack about another people. Allegedly.
2) Frankie. Kissed lo, surprisingly.
3) Justinbobby. Johny Depp meets Eddie Vedar meets a burette-salesman. Wears capri pants.
4) Spencer. Looks like Roy Batty (bleach-blond supervillian), with more teeth. S*x tape (alleged). Nuff said.
Top Chef Spoiler Marcel Gets his Vampire-Hair Shaven / Amuse-Biatch
7 Comments Published by C.J. on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 5:13 PM.
First, I have to give props to Amuse-Biatch.blogspot.com, an amazing website blog devoted to every one's favourite, the most ridiculous, corporate-product-placement-up-the-wazoo show ever, Top Chef. Even if the site would s*cks, it still wouldn't matter. The name itself rocks sufficiently.
Next, for my big Top-chef-Kenmore-sears-kraft-other-product spoiler/prediction: The two NYC boyz: the Israeli from the [other] 'Neck, Ilan, and the Model-Chef-Model, Sam, shave littl' Marcel's hair in a immature prank which ends up biting both Ilan and Sam in the *ss. It no secret we hate Marcel's AND his huge hair. Who doesn't? He looks like a freakin' Jr. vampire. His poem was ghetto-horrible (tangent- why does Ilan always dress ghetto in confessional???) Right, back to the issue. These chefs should have learned their lesson from all the great reality-TV villains before them (Amarose, Santino, Beth, Jeffrey, JennLifshitz). Which is: don't fight him, cause the judges will just hold it against you (as Tom is starting to do). So, all remaining male members, sans Cliffy (no hair), shave their scalps in an emotional, but, too-late, morning-after moment filled with remorse/guilt/fear.
Remember. You heard it hear first. Unless i am wrong.
-MM
Labels: amuse-biatch, bravo, chef, colorblind-chef, greatneck, hair, ilan, kenmore, marcel, rat, rip-off, scalp, top chef, vampire, villian
